I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't make out with my wife yet
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
