i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
