Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
