My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
