I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize