can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
