dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
