i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize