I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just had sex bonerless
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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