Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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