Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
