Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
