I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
