I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
