Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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