Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
