you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
