Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you never un-have a 4some
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
