He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
