Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
