Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
