Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
