All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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