No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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