she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
