The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My feet surprised me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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