Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize