Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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