the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
