I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
