If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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