I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
