I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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