I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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