he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
