i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
