masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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