dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
