whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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