yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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