That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
