walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
