she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
