You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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