im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
