I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Me too!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
