dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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