My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
