you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
