you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
