we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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