why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
