i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
