That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
