What did we do last night that was yellow?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
