Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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