Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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