***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
