She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's a Shit stain on my heart
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
