I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize