I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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