So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
