I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
