Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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