At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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