Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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