When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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