If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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