I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
