Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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