dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
