piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
