He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize